THE NATIONAL VOICE OF FAMILIES
PROTECTING FAMILIES FROM THE FAMILY COURT SYSTEM

Laura Bouma

LauraBouma
I am a mother deprived of her only child….a 12 year old beautiful son named Jase.  He is the most precious thing in my life and has been gone from me for 4 years.  The father is the person who abandoned the family and yet he was granted an absolute divorce because my ex said that “because [I] didn’t have sex with him enough, [I] made [him] feel less of a man.”  The judge gave him everything.

 

My unprepared and idiot attorney was unable to get my evidence submitted.  This evidence proved that I had had a surgery that left me with extreme chronic pain due to nerve damage that the doctor caused.  In fact, I won the malpractice case but have never, and will never, receive a dime because the doctor had no malpractice insurance.  I am unable to have more children  because of the damage.

 

Jase is a miracle because the specialist did not even believe that I would be able to get pregnant after the surgery.  Jase came several years later and was 2 months premature.  He was in NICU for one month and the father rarely visited.  When the father learned that Jase had a high probability of being disabled, he attempted to demand that I have an abortion.  Of course, I was disgusted and he had the nerve to state that he could “not handle” having a disabled child. He then blamed his drinking problem on my unborn child…..even though he has been an alcoholic since age 17.

 

My ex was found to be an alcoholic with “rage” issues during the divorce trial.  By the way, a couple must be separated for one year before a divorce can be granted.  We were only separated for 8 months.  He left and decided to reside with his parents…..where he still lives and my son sleeps in a nasty and hoarded basement of which he is STILL afraid to sleep alone.

 

My ex proudly said he paid Judge McCrone and that I was going to lose my son because his purpose was to “destroy” me and the only way he could do that was by taking my son from me.  My ex also told everyone that he “owns Howard County”.  Our case was not even heard in the county in which my son was raised for most of his life.  My ex was able to use his money, and his control, to get the case heard in the county of which his good friend is also his attorney. In addition, the entire family has been in that county for “generations”.

 

Prior to the trial, the father was not allowed to see his son because of the extreme abuse.  My son was 7 when he brandished a knife at the father for breaking into the house, after the father was told not to go near my son.  No one would help me and I tried everything.  The State Police were called and told my son that his “bruises aren’t big enough”.  My son had more nightmares, from that day on, because of his fear of the father.  He would blockade the doors every night and refused to be outside alone because he feared his father would “snatch” him.

 

The best interest attorney was also paid “under the table” by my ex and she told the judge that I needed to be institutionalized.  Keep in mind, she met with me once.  The child expert, who the court ordered, wrote four reports stating  that my son and I are credible witnesses and that the father should not have custody.  The BIA and my ex’s attorney suppressed each report from the court.

 

The judge gave the father sole legal and physical custody and the father had NEVER even requested it!  My son had not visited with his father in months and yet was taken from me on the day of the ruling.  He had to be dragged across the parking lot…the father had one arm and the grandfather another……and my son’s feet were literally dragging across the pavement, as he screamed, “Help me Mommy ! Save me!”  The BIA told me that if I cried, she would have security escort me of the court grounds.

 

The judge gave me NOTHING!  NO VISITS, NO PHONE CALLS….. NO ANYTHING!  I HAD SOLELY RAISED MY SON AND HAVE NEVER BEEN ACCUSED OF ABUSE, NEGLECT, ADDICTION, OR ANYTHING ELSE. The father, on the other hand, has been proven to be an abusive and alcoholic parent.

 

The father has money….millions…. and I have nothing.  I spent over $700,000 attempting to get Jase back home.  My ex had a judge in Howard County evict me from the family home, which was in another county, over an hour and a half away.

 

My son was suicidal at age 10.  He has gained over 85 pounds since being with his father and abusive grandparents.  He has had 2 fractures, a laceration needing 13 staples, infections, concussions, illnesses etc. and no one has intervened.  My son has been so brave because to this day, regardless of the abuse he will receive, he continues to report the abuse and neglect. My son knows of the abuse he will have to endure by reporting the abuse and neglect but prays someone will listen and help him.  The father does not even give him his needed medication.

 

I am on disability and receive less than $21,000 per year.  The father makes a six figure salary, pays for nothing because his boss takes care of him and he has no bills.  The father and his boss are involved in illegal “under the table” activity and my ex is worth at least 5 million by now.  The judge ordered ME TO PAY HIM $900 PER MONTH FOR CHILD SUPPORT AND THE FATHER SPENDS NONE OF THAT ON JASE.  HE GAMBLES AND DRINKS IT AWAY.  THIS CAN ALL BE PROVEN WITH PICTURES AND DOCUMENTS AND THE COURT REFUSES TO ACCEPT ANY OF IT.

 

In fact, to date, I have been denied any and all expert witnesses.  They have either been deemed “not qualified as experts” or released, with no explanation.

 

My ex and his family and attorney have slandered my name and shattered my dignity. The court has deprived me of being a mother….the only thing I ever wanted out of life.

 

My poor son has spoken to two judges (had three interviews); reported to CPS several times and they sealed the reports which detailed horrendous abuse and animal torture; reported to police, therapists, school psychologists (of which I have the letters where he begs them to “help” him because his father is going to “kill” him), teachers and custody evaluator…..no one would help him.

 

To this day, I have won NO court hearings and my son continues to be abused and neglected.  I have one 3 hour supervised visit a week and 2 ten minute phone calls a week, which are supervised by the father.  He is allowed to cancel any visit and disconnect any call and nothing happens to him.

 

I have been fighting for four years and have no intention of stopping until Jase is back home with me.  What kind of human abuses a child, both physically, verbally, and mentally, and claims to be a loving parent?  What kind of human makes decisions in the court which grant that the abusive parent will have custody because that is the parent with the money?

 

My son no longer trusts any adult and says that he will never be the “person that God wanted [him] to be”.  Just three months ago, he begged the judge to remove him from his father’s care and explained that the situation is “horrific” there and he must be allowed to “go home” to be with me.  HE THEN SAID THAT HE DOES NOT FEEL “HUMAN” IN THAT HOUSE.  The judge did nothing.  She told me that Jase is NOT being abused in the house and that he is happy.  She ordered that I would get no more time with him and refused to change custody.  She then recused herself immediately after writing that order. 

 

It is so disgusting and disgraceful that these judges, attorneys, mental health professionals, and CPS care nothing about our children.

 

WE MUST SAVE AND PROTECT OUR CHILDREN AND THAT IS MY GOAL IN LIFE.  NO CHILD DESERVES TO BE RAISED BY A PARENT WHO IS SO HATEFUL AND ABUSIVE.  I hope that being in this group will help us all provide better futures for our children.

 

Unless otherwise cited, FCLU volunteers are not attorneys and any advice does not constitute representation as such, nor do individuals speak for the FCLU as a whole.  Please consult a licensed attorney before acting on any advice.